Terrible.

That’s how I felt after waking up and completely emptying out my gut. I’ve never experienced anything like it.

Hours passed by and I couldn’t stop my body from getting rid of something inside me that obviously didn’t belong there. Breathing in, breathing out – that was all I tried to focus on to feel less sick.

Resting on the couch, and then the bed, and then the couch again, crying like a baby I ended up calling my mom to help me. Not to forget about my partner who had to come into the room every few minutes to look after me and hold me while I was bursting out into the toilet.

Lying there not being able to do anything, I was wondering what I might have done to my body to end up in this situation. I’ve never felt so exhausted in my whole life. I couldn’t eat or drink, lay down, sit or stand. I couldn’t even focus my mind on a kids’ movie on Netflix, even though my partner chose the cutest one he could possibly find to distract me.

Whether it was a normal infection, a gastro-intestinal disease, a demonic possession or my body trying to fight the parasite inside my gut, it was undeniably terrible.

I can’t tell you how disappointing that day was for me. Six months of trying everything to get healthy again and one day to completely break me apart. I couldn’t believe how this one part of my body could take control over my whole well being.

I thought I’d been working for and with my body to get better again and that’s not what I expected to get back. No sugar, no gluten, no lactose, coffee only after eating something, drink enough water, not too much meat, take this medication after waking up, that medication 30 minutes before eating and the other one 10 minutes before eating – I could keep going like this for a few more pages. And all I was getting back that day was complete exhaustion and destruction. I know that sounds overly dramatic, but it’s no exaggeration.

So, lying there, My Neighbour Totoro in the background, I was wondering more and more about what we eat and what it can put our bodies through. I thought taking all these natural medications would make me feel better within a few weeks at least. Enzymes, Zinc, Broccoli Sprouts, medication for my pancreas and for my stomach lining should provide some benefits, but that day just totally threw me off. Maybe I’ve really just had some bad luck and caught an infection somewhere, adding on to all the health issues I’ve already had anyways. My partner still believes that he saw a demon coming out of me and being flushed down the toilet, leaving me behind with blank eyes, pale skin and shaggy hair – kind of like the girl from The Ring.